


Kurt's got a problem

by Yoake_yoake



Category: Heathers The Musical - Fandom
Genre: But chill, M/M, Shameless Smut, Smut, it's literally just a smut, not chill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-18 02:51:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11865117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yoake_yoake/pseuds/Yoake_yoake
Summary: Kurt Kelly and Ram Sweeney have been friends since they could remember. They gone a bit further than that before but no homo. But suddenly, Kurt's got a problem, and it's for his best friend.





	Kurt's got a problem

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to have three chapters and an actual plot. But I didn't know if anyone would like the rest. If you want to read the rest of the story, comment and I'll post them!

Kurt sighed and honked his horn for the tenth time. Ram was slow. It was Saturday morning and the two boys had planned to go out to the mall to scope out hot chicks. 

They did this every year. They could never just stop doing it. 

What he hadn't anticipated was waking up and being extremely horny. 

He just woke up and it hurt! He ached but forced down a few ibuprofen pills and just went about his normal morning routine. 

But now it started to ache again and he tapped his foot, trying to ignore it. His tight jeans didn't help any. They made it a whole lot worse, pushing against him slightly. He had his letter jacket across his lap to hide it as he sat. 

He forced himself to stay calm. Focus on something else. 

Ram will be out in a minute. 

The new sleep medication seems to be working. 

Maybe the selection at the mall will be good. 

He sighed and slammed his hand on the horn again impatiently before turning on the radio to distract himself. 

 

Ram had fallen on his face. 

He woke up that morning, feeling pretty fresh.

He went about his routine, taking a shower, getting dressed, doing his hair etc. and then he ate breakfast!!!

Food is awesome. Ram loves food.

Ram had put on his white t-shirt with the red trim and some jeans. He brought his letterman jacket with him too.

He didn't want to wear it much unless Kurt had one too. He felt, cool when they matched.

Anyways, when he came downstairs to eat, he tripped and fell down the stairs and face planted into the wall. He didn't start bleeding from his actual nose, but from the bridge of his nose.

So he put a bright purple bandaid over it.

It kind of made him look lame, but it was fine.

His face really hurts now though.

He was definitely gonna have a bruise. Like, all over his nose.

He ate breakfast, and then hung out on the couch until he heard the car horns outside.

Now he couldn't find his phone. He frantically looked around, the car horn sounded a couple more times, and when he found it, he busted through the front door.

He ran down the driveway and opened the car door.

"Sorry, bro." He said nervously, "Couldn't mind my phone." He shoved his phone in his back pocket and climbed inside.

His nose bandaid looked cute.

 

Kurt shut the music off and tried to ignore the fact that Ram looked absolutely adorable with the band-aid on his nose. It took all of his will not to stare at him. 

He backed out of the driveway and started down the street. 

"We've gotta get there quick dude, you know that. All the chicks will be gone." 

He pealed out of the neighborhood and down the interstate, headed towards the mall. He gripped the steering wheel tightly. 

'Don't look over- Don't look over- Don't look over-' he told himself. 

His jeans got a little bit tighter. 

Thank god the jacket was on his lap. 

He did feel a bit exposed though, not having it on his arms. He just had on a wife beater underneath of it. It showed off his muscles well but it showed a few things he didn't like to address. 

He had light freckles on his shoulders and a few scars from a four-wheeler wreck a few years ago. He even had a few bruises from using weights just a bit too big for him still. 

He /never/ took off his jacket. No one knew about the freckles or marks. 

But he was kinda stuck where he was in this situation. Too late to do anything about it now. 

 

Ram showed Kurt his bandaid.

Yes Ram, he gets it, you're cute.

And then he went on, explaining what happened, laughing about it now.

Kurt thought it was funny, he laughed too.

Really, when it happened, he started crying. 

It really hurt!

"It really hurt." Ram sighed, concluding his tangent about how all stairs should have those things that old people sit in that takes them down the stairs since they can't do it themselves.

That would be cool. It would save a lot of band-aids.

"It still hurts."

Ram was the only one who's seen Kurt without his jacket, and it was either for a really short time, or he was really drunk and could barely remember it.

... they've... done some stuff before... what they've done required Kurt's jacket to be off.

They were drunk and desperate, okay? They aren't gay. They don't feel that way about each other.

-sweats nervously-

And then there was now. Kurt doesn't have his jacket on, and that was one of the first things he noticed.

It's a universal thing that all guys know you're trying to conceal a boner when you're covering yourself like that. 

Ram laughed, "And you don't have your jacket on, why?" He asked, throwing his own jacket into the back seat.

He was suspicious.

He kind of knew what was going on.

 

Kurt didn't answer at first. He really didn't want to talk about it. But...

Ram was his best friend. He could talk to him about it. Besides. It wouldn't be.. the first time..

Kurt bit his lip and sighed. Whatever..

"I woke up achin', man." He tried to explain nonchalantly. Instead, his voice broke at the end. He was in a lot of pain, with the jeans pressing on him and not being able to stop himself. 

They were about halfway to the mall at this point. Kurt hoped to get there and find a girl that was equally horny to take care of this quickly. 

He hurt. /a lot/. 

But shrugged it off with a small wince. 

 

That's the thing about girls. They aren't usually just... horny for no reason. Girls are cute.

Damn,,,,,,, girls..........................

Yes yes, Kurt can tell Ram anything.

Ram will either nod understandingly or totally make fun of him.

Ram was a little confused at first when Kurt told him he was 'aching', but it didn't take long for him to realize what he meant.

Kurt was looking for, sex.....................

Ram started laughing. Of course.

Ram, you suck. Why do you make things so difficult?

This isn't the first time they've ended up in a situation like this. Especially the part that they were in a car.

One night, a couple months ago, they were kicked out of a party, and they were simultaneously high and drunk, and pretty fucking horny.

They got out to the car, and Kurt was putting the alcohol they brought back in the trunk, and Ram somehow found a way to get Kurt pinned down inside on the trunk's flooring.

Not even that was their first time doing that. They had fucked around twice the year before that, junior year.

It just kind of, happened? Neither boy had an explanation as to why, but it did. 

They had sworn never to do anything like that again with each other, never to mention it.

But then it happened a second time, not even a month later, again with absolutely no reason other than they wanted to. 

It left them even more confused, and even more guilty. Again, they swore they wouldn't do it again.

Neither of them knew why it happened. The first time, they like to say it was just on accident, but they at least knew the second time was intentional.

For some reason, they just kept finding themselves wanting each other.

 

Kurt rolled his eyes. Ram could be such an idiot sometimes. 

"Don't laugh, asshole." Kurt said. "It's not like I can control it."

Believe him. If he could control his boner, he would. He'd take it away right now and use it later. At the right time, in the right place. 

Right now wasn't good. 

Again, he tried to ignore the pang of pain as he readjusted in his seat. He wished the jeans didn't hold him back so much. 

He turned down Cherry Lane, the road that led to the mall. The selection would be good today. All the hot chicks come to the mall on Saturday. 

Yeah. He'll be fine....

He's not very good at reassuring himself. 

He could feel the pit of his stomach tightening and he gulped slightly. 

Nononononononononononononononononononomonono nonononononononononono he refused. 

This wasn't good, this wasn't happening. 

He glanced over at Ram and couldn't help but notice his strong cut jaw and... his proud.. broad shoulders.....

No! Stop! Gay! Gay is bad! Kurt can't be gay! He just... Ram could be... No! Nothing at all! Just get to the mall.

 

Ram apologized and tried to stop his laughing.

He crossed his arms, smiling lightly and leaning against the door of the car.

He noticed Kurt was sweating a little.

This was funny. He thought this was really funny. Hahahahahahaha

"Well, I'm not going inside the mall with your weird boner." He said, being stubborn. 

There wasn't really any choice unless-

Unless...

They did.........

.... gay stuff...........

But it's not gay, because they aren't gay. They don't feel that way about each other.

They're just too weird, desperate teenage boys who..........

can't really stay away from each other........

Oh god. That's gay.

 

It's totally gay. But not for them. Nope. Not gay. Just... desperation. 

It's gay. 

Kurt frowned. Ram didn't wanna go into the mall with him. 

He gripped the steering wheel. His knuckles turned white. 

"Well dude, there are a few options left then. You could just go without me, you could stop being a dick and deal with it, or..."

He stopped himself, slowly turning red. It was obvious what he was alluding to but he'd rather not say it. 

It'd be gay if he said it. 

It's kind of funny. 

He still refused to call it gay even though he was secretly wishing, hoping, praying... for the third option. 

God.... they really couldn't keep away from each other could they.. not for long at least. 

 

Neither of them could stay away, and they didn't know why. They had no idea why.

They're kind of stupid. Both of them.

Ram reddened a little bit, knowing exactly what his friend meant by 'or...'. 

He turned his head and looked out the window until he could feel the blush in his cheeks fade away.

Then he turned back to Kurt, raising a brow, "What, you want me to do somethin' about it?" He asked, acting as if he wasn't desperate as fuck to have his hands on Kurt.

For Ram, it didn't matter if he was giving or receiving, he needed it. He literally didn't need to receive anything from Kurt, just touching him took care of his hunger for his friend.

He didn't know if it was okay to feel that way. Especially since it's a boy. Especially since it's his best friend.

He didn't have this kind of attachment towards any of the girls he's dated before. 

He didn't understand it.

 

Kurt's never actually dated anybody before. I mean, sure he's been with them but, it was always too awkward to go anywhere. 

Heather McNamara dated him for a while but she was just fine with it going nowhere. She liked to pretend they went somewhere with him. She understood. 

But then that Veronica Sawyer came along and Heather fell for her. So they did what was best for both of them and split. Neither thought it would work much longer anyway. 

But Heather... she knew about the way Kurt felt and.... she told him to talk to Ram about it. 

Kurt could never do that though. He could never just tell Ram something like.. that. He'd never take it seriously. Or he'd be disgusted with him and leave. Kurt couldn't bear that. He'd had nightmare after nightmare of that happening. Each one tore him apart. 

Kurt bit his lip to keep himself from gasping in pain. Oh god, his jeans were so tight against him. It hurt so badly. 

But Ram... he was mocking him. 

Kurt just kinda shrugged and tried to play it off. "I don't know, man. Those are the only options if you don't want to go in with me."

 

Heather McNamara and Veronica Sawyer were the cutest.

Everyone knows it. There are no prouder gays, 

You always see them in the hallways, holding hands, you always see them walk each other to class, and kiss each other on the cheek.

Man, they're so cute!!! 

 

Ram and Kurt just aren't good at keeping girls around. Most of the girls Ram has dated realized they were gay and then left him?

He kind of thinks he accidentally makes people gay. Maybe he has some magical powers that make people gay.

He doesn't know why he attracts oblivious lesbians. It happens constantly.

So he's stopped dating. He's afraid that if he creates too many gays, the world will become underpopulated. That would be totally not cool.

I mean, gays are cool, but human extinction is not.

 

Ram looked ahead, silent as they pulled into the parking lot of the mall.

It was a big mall. Lots of people were shopping today.

Ram looked over at his friend with a smirk, "I will if you want me to." He shrugged casually, his voice suddenly becoming a little more... mischievous, "But only if you tell me you want to." 

 

The other Heathers didn't think it was all that cute. They didn't understand why everyone made such a fuss over them. 

It's cause they're adorable Heather. That's why. Get your panties out your ass and love them. 

 

Kurt sometimes wished Ram would date.... stop. 

He looked around for a parking spot and drove slowly to avoid people. 

He heard Ram's comment. 

His eyes widened, his pupils dilating and his face turning a very dark crimson. He slammed on the brake, freezing the car on the spot. 

He was breathing heavily and shaking now, pulling leather up from the wheel with his fingernails. 

That. 

Was. 

Gay. 

But it

He didn't think it was a bad idea. 

But why. 

Why did he have to say that. 

Now Kurt was in the most pain he's ever been in. 

His jeans were ridiculously tight and the jacket wasn't doing so well anymore. 

 

Yeah, Heathers, shut up and be glad that your friend is in love.

 

When Kurt slammed on the brake, it kinda sent Ram forward.

"Hey man, what the fuck?" He hissed.

Then he looked back over at Kurt.

The boy was shaking, and he was really, really red. 

His face kind of spread into an amused smile, and he unbuckled himself, moving onto his knees and reaching across to Kurt. 

He tightly grabbed his face from underneath his jawline, and he leaned into the armrest, slamming his lips into his friend's.

Shit. 

This is gay.

But now, Kurt's got Ram wanting it too.

This doesn't happen often. It's been a long, long ass time since they've kissed. The last time they did it was literally the night they fucked after that party.

It kinda sucks. The only times they've kissed is... when they've fucked.

Damn.

That's... sad..........

Ram only pulled away from Kurt's lips for a second to sternly say tell him, "Park the car." 

He kissed him again, and then pulled away, stripping himself of his shirt. 

 

Kurt gulped again, finding a parking spot quickly and parking. He was pretty good at parking. 

He refused to let go of the steering wheel just yet. He was, in pain, 

He glanced over at Ram and turned darker if possible. Ram- muscle- hot

But not gay. 

Kurt sighed shakily. They aren't gay. They aren't gay. They aren't-

Sometimes.... they are. 

Kurt slowly looked down at the jacket in his lap that now had a bump from his hard. 

He was in so much pain right now, he could hardly handle looking back over at his best friend. 

 

This didn't mean anything. This was just so they could go inside the mall.

That's it. It wasn't sex that meant anything.

Right?

Once they were parked, Ram didn't waste any time to crawl over into the seat with Kurt and straddle him.

He kissed him hard, really hard. It was made up of pure hunger. 

It's been too long since they've done this.

Neither of them even care right now that they're in a car during the day and it's completely possible that someone could see them doing this.

Maybe even someone from school.

That doesn't matter right now.

He kind of lifted himself a little bit and pulled that stupid jacket out from underneath himself, tossing it carelessly into the back seat with his own jacket.

And then he moved forward a little, lowering himself down into the bulge, moving against it.

 

Kurt instantly moaned carelessly in response. It was both from great pain but also the shocking pleasure. 

"Fuck-" he purred, a deep sound coming from in his throat. He groaned Ram's name, putting his hands on Ram's hips. 

Ram's got some pretty nice hips. Kurt liked his hips. Not that he stared at Ram's ass. Nothing like that at all. 

-starts sweating-

He bit the others lip lightly, afraid of scaring him off but begging to go further. 

They haven't even gone very far yet but Kurt was amazed at how wonderful this felt. Ram's body seemed to fit well with his own and no movements ever felt unnatural or uncomfortable. 

It kinda freaked him out a little but he rarely thought about it so it's cool. 

 

Ram was already in this.

He had a thing for moaning. And he likes praise. Both of those things tell him he's doing well. 

He thinks it's hot.

It really got him going.

He sometimes says stupid shit when he gets into things like this. He doesn't really think about what he's going to say, so he starts saying things he doesn't want to say.

Ram pulled away from Kurt's lips, looking into his eyes. His own were already full of lust.

He's needed this.

"Fuck." 

Next, he went for Kurt's neck. He didn't even start with kisses, he went straight into biting at his skin.

He didn't even care if he left marks. Usually, he tried not to, but now, he bit as if it was his goal.

 

Kurt hardly cared now if anyone saw them. 

Let coach see them. He didn't mind. 

Ram moved down unexpectedly and bit Kurt's neck. Kurt was surprised!! He gasped, reaching up and run his hand up Ram's neck and into his hair, grabbing on to it. 

He shuttered at Ram's hot breath on his neck and he couldn't help but moan once again. 

Ram was good at this. Kurt was slightly embarrassed. 

 

Ram was only good at this because they've done this, like, a lot before.

He knows what Kurt likes.

He only spent a short moment on Kurt's neck before he moved his fingers down his body and found the seam of his wife beater, pulling it up over his head, tossing it over to the passenger seat.

He bit down his collarbones for a moment before moving his hand to the side of the seat, pulling up the lever, sending the seat down.

Now the boys were laid down on the seat. Nice. This made for a much more comfortable position.

He ground against him again. Fuck.

He wasn't quite sure what Kurt was in the mood for.

So he thought he'd just ask.

"What do you want?" He asked breathlessly, sitting up and wiping his mouth on his arm, still straddling him. 

 

"F-f- Ram-" Kurt moaned lowly, "r-ride me-"

That was new!! 

He was wanting this much more than he has before. This request was downright dirty. 

Kurt had one hand on Ram's hip and the other gripped the side of the seat. He was in a lot of pain with the much-added pressure of Ram on him. 

It made him,,,, harder,, if possible. 

Ram could probably feel it poking at him. That was weird. But he couldn't help it. 

Kurt was powerless against his emotions and his longing. He was powerless against Ram. 

 

Woah. 

This was new.

Ram got a little scared, but he smiled.

Ram totally wants to ride him but like............

They didn't have any lube!!!! Ow!!!

"Bro, we don't have lube in here." He said, still smiling a little. 

He totally will ride him if they can find a substitute.

There is a substitute, but it takes extra time, and it's extra... dirty. 

They've never done it before.

Keep in mind, all of the stuff they've ever done, they have no idea what they're doing. They've never seen gay porn or anything, so they totally just make it up.

They probably do it completely wrong.

 

Kurt paused and moment and sat up slightly. He then did two things at once. 

First: he moved his left hand and started to palm at Ram's crotch. He rubbed at it hard until he found the right spot. 

When Ram gasped, he did the second thing:

He pulled up his right hand and put three fingers into Ram's mouth. They didn't taste bad. Kinda fruity. Kurt had a new lotion his mom bought him. 

He continued to rub against Ram with the base of his left palm, careful not to pull on Ram's mouth with his fingers. 

"Suck." He commanded. He was taking control of this part. Wow. 

 

This was kind of hot. Ram had to admit it.

He'd never seen Kurt act like this. He's never been the dominant one.

His face went red as he felt himself grow harder in his pants, he knew that Kurt could feel it under his hand. 

Oh god.... the band-aid boy was embarrassed.

He made a terribly non-masculine squeak sound as Kurt shoved his fingers into his mouth. 

"N- nngh..." 

That only made his face get even redder.

The worst part was that he could look away and wait for the blushing to go away. He couldn't move much at all. 

He felt rather defeated. But he didn't want to show it. So he wrapped his hands around Kurt's wrist, bringing his fingers farther into his mouth, trying to be a show-off. But really, he just looked small and cute.

He closed his mouth around his fingers, noticing the fruity taste. Hey, he didn't hate it.

Basically, yeah, he did what he was told. He looked as good as a girl would doing this, from Kurt's point of view.

 

Kurt tried not to imagine a girl in Ram's position. 

To be honest, he'd rather it /be/ Ram in this position. 

He palmed him a bit harder when he made the squeaked noise. He smiled devilishly. It was music to his ears. 

After a minute, he decided his fingers were wet enough. He pulled them from Ram's mouth, using his other hand to pull down Ram's pants, then underwear. 

Kurt reached around a slowly started to push his first finger into him. 

 

Ram seized up and froze in a moan. He'd never felt this before. He's never had someone /inside/ him before. 

He gripped the car seat tightly, arching back slightly. He could feel Kurt's finger moving through him and start to pull out but before he could protest, it moved back in. 

Kurt went a bit deeper every time he'd pull out and go in again. Ram shivered at his touch and the sudden jump of his body temperature. 

And without a single warning, Kurt pulled out and suddenly stuck a second finger inside him. 

Ram gasped and moaned lowly and loudly. "F-fuck-" he hissed, his toes curling beneath him. 

 

Kurt smirked at Ram's hiss. He was doing well, he knew. His was all new but it felt oddly natural. He seemed to know what he was doing despite the fact that he had no clue what he was doing. 

After another minute of Ram's moans getting further hushed as he continued, he took the final step and pushed a third finger in. 

Ram gasped sharply, gripping the seat and moaning louder than he had before. 

Kurt smiled darkly, his normally bright green-blue darkening with lust and drive. 

 

Ram shut his eyes tightly, feeling himself now plenty wet and ready. But he didn't want Kurt's fingers to leave him quite yet. 

Kurt scissored his fingers around him hitting every wall with a flick and pumping his fingers in and out of him. 

But eventually, Kurt's arm grew tired and it was time to finish what they had started. 

 

Kurt pulled his fingers out from Ram and smirked at his bright red best friend. He pushed Ram up from him just enough to where he could undo his pants and push them down. 

He groaned in relief as his raging boner released from the denim and underpants and stuck out into the free air. He shivered at the sudden cold but he couldn't stop now. 

"Ready?" He asked. But he hardly waited for an answer. 

He held Ram's hips in his hands once again and slowly his matched the head of his member to Ram's opening and he pushed in. 

 

Ram tossed his head back immediately and let out the greatest moan he could manage. He continued further down about halfway before Kurt pushed him back up again. 

He came off the tip with a small pop, before getting lowered once again onto him. 

Both boys were moaning now, sometimes in harmony, sometimes not even close. 

Kurt was biting his lip while Ram was frozen with his mouth wide open. Ram started lowering himself a bit faster onto Kurt, unable to stop his hunger from taking over. 

He moaned as he quickened the pace, going lower every time. The two boys started to develop a pattern. Kurt began trusting upward into Ram each time and they rocked their hips together in unison. 

Ram's moans hiccuped and bounced as he did, getting louder with every thrust. The car was bouncing now as well but neither boy noticed, nor did they care. 

Kurt could feel himself building. He winced, moaning and hissing. 

"F-fuck, Ram- you're so g-good- ah-" he grit his teeth and they quickened again. They were going rather fast now and Ram could feel himself starting to throb too. 

Without thinking, he grabbed his cock and started massaging himself to the pattern. He played with the tip, though stroked down the sides as he bounced. 

His eyes were crossed from the ecstasy, his toes curled, his knuckles white. He couldn't stop the moaning. 

Then, Kurt found the right spot. He began hitting his prostate with every thrust and each one jumped Ram ahead further and further. His moans were yelling at this point and he squeezed his eyes shut tightly. He grit his teeth and hissed. 

"F-fuck- yeah- fuck- right there- ah!-"

Kurt grabbed Ram's other hand, intertwining their fingers. They had to remember they were there. 

"G-gah- fuck- Ram-" he tried to warn, throwing his head back, "f-fuck- I-I might- I'm gonna-" 

He couldn't finish his sentence before crying out and unwillingly releasing into Ram. He thrust up one more time into Ram, sending him over the edge as well. 

Ram came too, releasing all over Kurt's bare chest. 

Both boys finished and were left with heavy moans, pants, and exhausted whimpers. Neither bothered moving. 

Kurt slowly reached up a hand and fixed Ram's hair with a tired chuckle. His cowlick fell in front of his face and it made him look like he was a freshman again. 

Ram smiled dazily and leaned down to Kurt, kissing him sloppily, their tongues engaging in a war for dominance. 

But they pulled away fairly quickly. 

Kurt dug around for a moment, finding a crushed box of tissues and cleaning both of them up. There was a silent conversation and the two just decide to head home now. 

They pulled up their boxers and jeans, Kurt pulling in his jacket without his shirt and Ram not even bothering to get more than half dressed. 

Kurt pulled out of the parking lot still panting and driving back to his place. They headed inside and lazily dropped onto the couch. 

For a few minutes, they sat in exhausted silence. Then they locked once again in the war of larger victory. 

It ended fairly quicker than normal, the boys falling asleep sprawled across the couch, Kurt cuddling into Ram's warmer chest. 

Everything seemed to be just perfect. 

Everything was great. 

Everything. Was okay.


End file.
